A Little Cloud

The other day, as class was ending and papers were being shoved at me at a furious rate because after all, the bell had rung which always signals the running of the bulls, or rather, the running of the steers as the case may be, one of the little steers left a cloud.  Not a cloud of dust as a steer might, but a cloud of a different sort.  This cloud was not visible, or I would have avoided it.  I would have ducked under, I would have circle around, dang, I would have done a double hand-spring over the foul thing, but no, I walked right into it.  And, as circumstances would have it, desks to the right, desks to the left, table behind, students in front,  I had no alternative but to remain in the cloud.  Typically, a cloud weighs less than the air around it, and it will, with the slightest breeze or draft, dissipate rapidly.  So the most one has to do is hold his breath but for a few moments and wait for the complete dissipation and once again commence breathing.  As was my plan, but this cloud had other designs.  This cloud had weight.  It had heft.  It had substance. It had mass. It had gravitas.  It had staying power. After two or three seconds, I drew in a breath, and got another mouthful, a full tongue-coating.  Whoa, still here?  Three more seconds, a tentative breath and another mouthful.  Panic ensued. But, alas there was work to be done.  An escape was not possible.  10 full seconds and another shallow breath taken, still more noxious fumes were taken in.  This is unthinkable, so I stumbled sideways, ran into a desk, then went over the desk to clean air.  After what seemed like 20 minutes I ventured back to my work station to resume my tasks.  THE CLOUD WAS STILL THERE!  How was this possible?  Measures must be taken.  Battle must be waged. A can of industrial strength, hospital grade disinfectant was employed, but instead of eradicating the cloud I had only added to it.  Now my cloud was intestinal napalm and a chemical cocktail that would surely send the air quality index into the red and outrage Al Gore.  In defeat, I vacated the area, and delightfully watched from afar as the next class entered and a few innocent souls consumed the cloud and replaced it with a healthier carbon dioxide.


With love,
Vlad